Happy Thursday from my home sweet home! I know I have not a very good blogger but with my emotions in high drive and keen as ever, I thought that is was time to get some stuff down for our families, friends and of our baby #3 to know if the future.
Our family is surrounded with so much love that it is lifting and lightening for our souls.
Some may think that with many hands in your pot of life that too much support and love can have the opposite effect of let's say, suffocation. Which sometimes is easy to fall into when one is frustrated and doesn't want help or support at certain times.
I am not going to lie and say that we don't experience both of them at times in our life, but the balance is what is important.
Balance? What is balance in one's life? Does that mean we are zen (what the heck is zen anyways)?
Well here is the best explanation for our family that I could find after lots of reading. It comes from Anastasiya Goers of Balance In Me.
"Balanced living is when you can always offset any negative events in your life with positive ones. It is also when you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Balanced living is when you are happy working and playing equally. If you picture happiness and everything great in your life as a diamond, then any negative things that may happen are just the setting that makes this diamond shine only brighter."
That speaks to me. I feel that it says, "there are going to be difficult and trying times that will test our faith. But knowing how to cope and accept the help of LOVE from all those that want to give it and most of all our Savior, balance will restore itself in our lives.
Well, we had one of those life altercating moments this week when we were in search for the "balance" in your lives to be restored and boy was it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Here's our Preterm Baby #3 Story--
I went to school Tuesday feeling good because I had the best nights sleep in months. My doctor appt and 30 week ultrasound went great the night before: baby was great, momma was great. Life was balanced!
At 9am Tuesday morning, I started contracting....hard. Of course I called the hospital, my husband and then....freaked! I told some people at work and of course their first response was..."Let's go! I will drive you!" That right there....helped, the love and support they show me is tremendous. They would drop everything to help ME?! I know...how blessed am I?
Well, Brandon rushed to get me to the hospital and of course I was contracting regularly. They started the baby on steroids for rapid lung development and started the poking and prodding of me for tests and drugs to stop labor.
I am so lucky to have a husband, that even though hospitals made him physically ill, is right by my side, white as ghost, holding my hand.
Our parents were texting and staying in touch every couple of mins, which shows their love and support as well. We know how hard it is for them not to run down to be with us, but I want their lives to stay in balance and we all know that there really isn't anything for them to do at the hospital until we were made aware of "the plan."
So, "the plan" consisted of trying different drugs to stop the labor so the 48 hrs of rapid lung development medication could happen for baby, which is life-saving in many instances.
The first 2 drugs didn't do anything substantial to stop labor. Then they got out the loving "flu in a bag." (magnesium, something, something, something)
Let me tell you, I wasn't excited for that at all. Let's just say I handled it pretty well considering.
BUT...my contractions were still every 2-3 mins. apart but milder.
Our parents and kiddos came to visit which was a blessing for us.
As the night went on, things started changing again and it was time to take me by ambulance to Iowa City. Dubuque doesn't deliver babies before 32 weeks and if they do, baby gets sent to Iowa City. So they said it was time to get prepared and have baby and mommy together at the appropriate place to meet our needs. ps...I love the doctors in Dubuque and my OB is awesome! She takes such good care of me.
By 10:55 pm, we were on the road to Iowa City and it was scarrrryyyy! Of course I started contracting harder and was starting active labor. It was a long ride.
And....at 12:15am we pulled in. Thank you God!
Well....at UIHC I was in full active labor and wanted to push....let's say...I was loosing my marbles. I sent my family home, including my husband because I can handle anything, right?! I'm Jill Stannard, and I don't want people to worry, etc. Sometimes my stubbornness bites me, and bites me hard.
Well.....I was scared and then when NICU was being called and there were 15 doctors in my room...all I wanted was my family. The staff was great though and pulled me through, got labor stopped and by 2:30....I was almost calm.
I was able to turn off the lights at 3am and "rest" through contractions until 5am. Then..I wanted to go home. Yeah, right?!
Our next goal was to keep labor at bay at least until 1pm Wednesday so the baby would have the 2nd dose of steroids for it's lungs. Even though I cried all morning and tried reaching out to the one person I needed the most, I got through it. The afternoon was quiet with contractions spacing out and calming with the magnesium or "flu in a bag." They stopped the hangover process at noon to see if my contractions would stay mild....AND THEY DID! YEAH
They were moving me to an observation room because they wanted to monitor me until 2pm on Thursday which is when babies lungs would have the full effect of the steroids. But....at 4pm, they checked me and said my cervix wasn't do much anymore and they said I could go home and be with my family. I called Brandon and begged him to pull out of the field immediately and come get me.
He was already in Iowa City by 6:05pm! What a man?!
I cried the whole way home...needed him, my kids and my family in arms reach again. Home sweet home was never more important to me at that time.
My amazing mom and mother-in-law, told me when they left in Dubuque not to worry about anything with the kids and Brandon. "It's nothing these two Grandma's can't handle," and hugged one another. I will never forget that. They have always been that in good communication and spirit with one another and friends, but it really hit me in my realization of the balance of life.
When they were all leaving, thinking everything was under control, Brandon and our families all hugged one another and said, "I love you." I just can't believe how blessed our family is. They are the most wonderful, supportive people that are so full of love that it almost makes my heart hurt from being sooo full!
My dad, husband and father-in-law all shut their combines down to be with me. I don't expect that of them, because it is important on these beautiful days to get these harvests out.
The role models we have for our children...WOW! Family comes first. Which is so awesome...simple awesome!
So, we are home, full of love, restoring balance and praying this baby bakes more.
I want to thank everyone from the deepest part of my heart for the thoughts and prayers. The power of prayer is something so much higher than us. I could feel it working for me yesterday. I was in direr need of strength and those prayers came through strong and loud. So many prayers have been said for our family and Payton. You will never understand how much that means to us and our families.
I know I talked a lot about my family in this post, but I really want to thank my co-workers for their amazing ability to hold me tight and make me feel so loved. They are sooo wonderful to work for. They were right their in my texts, emails and calls, just like my family. They are my family!
There was no subs available when I left Tuesday and they all picked up my classes. Simply wonderful. I would do the same for them in a heartbeat. Means the world to me though.
Thank you to my wonderful boss Shane as he is always being their to support my family as well.
My sub Lisa came in on Tuesday, picked right back up and is doing wonderful. Thank you for your ability to be an amazing teacher and ever harder, substitute, and for your continued prayers!
I am one to always send flowers to the hospital. Some people like that, some people don't. But that is our way of letting them know that they are in our thoughts and prayers and to feel some extra LOVE.
Well, I felt the love when these were given to me. Thanks CRMS! :) Aren't they beautiful??
To have the right balance in life, we all must have a support system. Is ours the best?! Yes it is. With now doubt in my mind.
Thank-you to my sister and brother for the love that have so deep for my children and our family as well. I know you would of have been there too if I would have let you come, but your prayers were amazing.
Same to your extended Framily. You are all amazing. We got more calls asking if we needed anything in the last 48 hrs, that our hearts are full.
A balanced life for us starts with Brandon, Jill, Payton, Weston and Baby #3. It continues out with family and then friends and our families-families and our friend's -family and our family's-friends, and our friends'-friends, etc.
The support, love, and faith go on forever.
Happy Baby #3 in Mommy's tummy!